Chris Pratt Is the Perfect Salesman in ‘Pitch Please’


We’re back with Chris Pratt. And you used to be a
door-to-door salesman? Yes, I did. What did you sell? I sold promotional
coupons for businesses in the service industry,
oil changes, trips to a day spa, salon. It’s pretty cool. How’d that go? It went really well. I was national
salesman of the year. I won a free trip to Jamaica. Wow. [APPLAUSE] Congratulations. Thank you. Well, you’re a good
salesman obviously. So we thought we
would play a game. It’s called Pitch, Please. [MUSIC PLAYING] Pitch, Please. All righty then. OK. So the first thing
I want to know is you’re going to sell it
like it’s a product on QVC. Oh, great. So whatever– this is how– you don’t know what it is. But you want to sell this thing. Of course, I do. All right. And I’m thrilled to be
here talking about it. Why should everyone have them? First of all, you work hard. You should get– you
should treat yourself, OK. It’s OK to spend a
little bit of money to get yourself something
that’s just really going to make you complete. Yeah, yeah, how often
should they use them? Honestly, I wouldn’t use it
any more than 20 times a day. But you can use it on a daily. Mm-hmm. And they do make you feel good? Oh, they make you feel great. Yeah. I’ve got three at home. I use them all the time. I use it with my friends, my
family, I bring grandma over. She’s got one. They’re great stocking stuffers. [LAUGHTER] If you act fast, because we’re
only giving around 20 of these, you can get all 20
at a discounted rate. Wow. You say you have three at home? I have three of these at home. Wow. How much would someone pay
for something like these? Oh, I’ll tell you how
much they have gone for. They’ve gone for upwards of $15. $16,000. If you act fast, you
get yours for $19.95 plus shipping and handling. OK. [APPLAUSE] You think on a cold day or
a hot day, what is best? There’s no temperature
of day that isn’t appropriate for this. And if you act
fast, you’ll get one for a cold day and an
extra one for the hot days. [LAUGHTER] I heard you work out with them. Why do you work out with them? You don’t get a body like this
without having one of these. [LAUGHTER] [APPLAUSE] Would you experience
chafing at all? Oh, no. No, there’s no chafing. You know, there’s a
lot of compliments. If you read the instruction
manual that it comes with– I see. –and the accompanying
lubricants, you will– you’ll have no
chafing whatsoever. OK. Yeah. Now when you– let’s just say
the three you have at home. Yes. All right, when
you’re using them, and you look in
the mirror, show me the face when you see
yourself in the mirror. [LAUGHTER] You, you, and you. Yeah. So you said your grandmother–
it’s all ages really? It’s– oh, yeah. It’s all ages, all
shapes, and sizes. OK, how old were you when
you first got your first one? Well, I was unfortunate. I had to wait till I was 15. [LAUGHTER] You’ve never had one fall off? Oh, no. I have one on right now. [LAUGHTER] [APPLAUSE] You have one right now? So have you ever
been pulled over and has anybody ever like,
I mean, you have one now. But– Right. You know, have you ever
been pulled over with them? With them on? Mhm. Oh, yes. I got pulled over
by a police officer because he had seen
that I was using mine. And I thought uh-oh, here we go. Another ticket. He said, sir,
where’d you get that? And I said, I’ll tell you where. I bought it on The Ellen Show. And if you act fast, you can
get up to your free 20 today. Everybody’s doing it. Yeah. Everybody is. All right, would you like to
see what you’ve been selling? I don’t know. OK, I’m going to look. You have three of them. [LAUGHTER] They don’t have to
just go here and here. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they can go anywhere. They can go anywhere. Yeah. Anywhere you have a nipple. Yep, anywhere. The “Lego Movie Two,” the
second part is in theaters now. We’ll be right back. Chris Pratt.

100 thoughts on “Chris Pratt Is the Perfect Salesman in ‘Pitch Please’

  • May 8, 2019 at 5:36 pm
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    Fucking brilliant!

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  • May 8, 2019 at 6:03 pm
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    I still don't know what that thing is 😕

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  • May 9, 2019 at 11:05 am
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    Ryan reynolds should do this

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  • May 9, 2019 at 12:24 pm
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    3:42 the look of "what the.." in his face, urgh priceless xD

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  • May 9, 2019 at 5:25 pm
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    He is really a great salesman

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  • May 9, 2019 at 11:00 pm
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    If you act fast can anybody please tell me ,what's that product and what it's for???

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  • May 10, 2019 at 4:43 am
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    Am I watching how to pass IELTS speaking task 1

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  • May 10, 2019 at 8:35 am
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    I love how they're playing mature games so they can promote a child targeted movie

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  • May 10, 2019 at 11:10 am
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    He sold the Gauntlet to Thanos. With rare stones with it. 😭

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  • May 10, 2019 at 6:22 pm
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    Best video on youtube ever. EVER.

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  • May 10, 2019 at 9:10 pm
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    “You don’t get a body like this without having one of these” I can’t rn, I’m dying , literally, Ellen is a genius

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  • May 11, 2019 at 12:59 am
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    This man could sell me sand in the desert and I would still feel like it's a great deal.

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  • May 11, 2019 at 4:04 am
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    hes not even ashamed of his job when he struggled i like those people

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  • May 11, 2019 at 4:25 am
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    “Which master do you serve?”

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  • May 11, 2019 at 5:15 am
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    oh yeah ALL ages

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  • May 11, 2019 at 5:28 am
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    He is low key sick of the bit halfway through

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  • May 11, 2019 at 6:13 am
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    I love him so much 😂

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  • May 11, 2019 at 8:59 am
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    Chris patt is really the best salesman🤘🤘😂

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  • May 11, 2019 at 12:56 pm
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    Chris Pratt could turn Ellen into straight
    He's the best comedian kind hearted so pure entertaining and thee BESTTT

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  • May 11, 2019 at 11:53 pm
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    This guy looks like that one guy from gaurdians of the galaxy

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  • May 12, 2019 at 1:55 am
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    I’ve got three at home

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  • May 12, 2019 at 5:40 am
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    Look at what we got here…ellen videos with comments on!

    Reply
  • May 12, 2019 at 8:38 am
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    Hahahahaaahahahahahaha, literally the funniest video ever

    Reply
  • May 12, 2019 at 12:39 pm
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    3:41 is when he realised what he was advertising.

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  • May 12, 2019 at 4:48 pm
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    Women should be appalled the notion that these are still available.

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  • May 12, 2019 at 7:13 pm
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    What is it though?

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  • May 12, 2019 at 10:20 pm
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    This guy could sell life insurance to a dead person📈💸

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  • May 12, 2019 at 11:14 pm
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    You pratt guy thicc

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  • May 13, 2019 at 3:34 am
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    I wonder if gamora has this

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  • May 13, 2019 at 4:30 am
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    I swear it looks like he’s having PTSD from doing this

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  • May 13, 2019 at 4:50 am
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    Pratt Plays Pitch Please (purposefully perfect)

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  • May 13, 2019 at 8:14 am
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    I WANT TO SEE HIM REACT TO THIS!

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  • May 13, 2019 at 11:06 am
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    Grandma has one 💀 I'm already 6ft under by the end of this video

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  • May 13, 2019 at 11:29 am
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    Sounds like a shady job

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  • May 13, 2019 at 3:50 pm
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    I.Am.DYINGGGG XDD

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  • May 13, 2019 at 7:25 pm
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    Could of called it “pitch perfect”

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  • May 13, 2019 at 7:36 pm
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    Trip to Jamaica…. I feel like that's a The Office reference.

    Reply
  • May 13, 2019 at 8:33 pm
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    Treat Yo Self

    Reply
  • May 14, 2019 at 2:36 am
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    Wot😂😂😂😂😂

    Reply
  • May 14, 2019 at 12:23 pm
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    He is so genuine. I love his humor and confidence. Someone like that is awesome….

    Reply
  • May 14, 2019 at 1:03 pm
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    Scripted

    Reply
  • May 14, 2019 at 6:59 pm
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    😂😂😂😂✋

    Reply
  • May 15, 2019 at 7:32 pm
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    Legend

    Reply
  • May 16, 2019 at 3:41 am
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    Because of him I just bought 3 and I'm a guy

    Reply
  • May 16, 2019 at 5:58 pm
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    i wish chris pratt would sell me coupons

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  • May 17, 2019 at 2:43 pm
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    Y'ALL HE MADE A PARKS AND REC REFERENCE

    Reply
  • May 17, 2019 at 7:49 pm
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    i wuld buy one 😀

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  • May 19, 2019 at 10:11 am
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    Bro, Chris can lift.

    He lifts my spirits by being alive.
    You go, you sweet, angelic cinnamon roll.

    Reply
  • May 20, 2019 at 8:01 am
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    Lol he seemed less into it then I’d expect from him

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  • May 20, 2019 at 3:42 pm
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    He is indeed so good

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  • May 20, 2019 at 4:16 pm
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    I think he convinced Drax to buythese for his sensitive niples

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  • May 22, 2019 at 4:33 am
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    ITS LIKE HE WAS BORN TO BE THE GREATEST SALESMAN IN HUMAN HISTORY

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  • May 22, 2019 at 10:37 pm
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    My heart is so tender he is so pure 😭

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  • May 23, 2019 at 7:01 am
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    I love this man!!😂😂😂

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  • May 24, 2019 at 4:19 am
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    Handsome man ❤️

    Reply
  • May 26, 2019 at 8:17 am
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    3:39
    Ellen:"you've never had one fall off?"
    Chris pratt: (๏︿๏) wUt

    Reply
  • May 26, 2019 at 5:11 pm
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    I love Him sm😂❤️

    Reply
  • May 29, 2019 at 7:03 am
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    They did him wrong😂

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  • May 31, 2019 at 6:18 pm
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    But let's not forget Black widow and Iron Man are dead because of him.

    Reply
  • May 31, 2019 at 9:21 pm
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    I wonder if crisp rat tastes like Chris B Bacon…

    Reply
  • June 6, 2019 at 3:45 am
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    I need another one of these videos plz

    Reply
  • June 9, 2019 at 4:31 am
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    I love you soo much Ellen…. 😘😘

    Reply
  • June 13, 2019 at 5:48 am
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    ThEy MaKe YoU FeEl GrEaT

    He said he used them 😂

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  • June 15, 2019 at 2:08 am
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    IM CRYING FROM LAUGHING SO MUCH

    Reply
  • June 15, 2019 at 9:02 pm
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    I want one 😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅

    Reply
  • June 16, 2019 at 3:45 pm
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    But the question is

    Does it have a bottle opener 🤔🤔🤔

    Reply
  • June 19, 2019 at 3:29 pm
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    I love Pratt! I will always love him.

    Reply
  • June 21, 2019 at 2:31 am
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    IF YOU ACT FAST—

    Reply
  • June 22, 2019 at 3:08 am
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    He's not only the alpha for his raptors……. He's an alpha male for the women 😍😍😍😍😍😍

    Reply
  • June 24, 2019 at 8:57 pm
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    I felt a bit sorry for him

    Reply
  • June 26, 2019 at 9:25 am
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    I LOVE HIM SO MUCH 😭

    Reply
  • June 27, 2019 at 12:51 am
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    Drax would buy those

    Reply
  • June 28, 2019 at 12:02 am
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    I loveeeee Chris Pratt

    Reply
  • June 29, 2019 at 12:34 am
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    I love Chris Pratt 😍💖

    Reply
  • June 29, 2019 at 4:50 am
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    How can somebody could be so empty to not like this? … like fr.

    Reply
  • June 30, 2019 at 4:35 am
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    IM DYYYYYIIIINNNGGGG!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  • June 30, 2019 at 7:21 pm
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    OmG he's so natural. Talented not just handsome. Perfect human, intelligent, handsome and humourous.

    Reply
  • July 3, 2019 at 11:39 am
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    He's so smart and fast

    Reply
  • July 5, 2019 at 1:57 pm
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    His face at 3:40 when Ellen asked if he had experience it fall off.

    Reply
  • July 16, 2019 at 5:16 am
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    JAMAICA!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  • July 20, 2019 at 12:46 am
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    Starllord is the best

    Reply
  • July 22, 2019 at 8:08 am
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    "They almost got the gauntlet off, man!"

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  • July 23, 2019 at 1:26 pm
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    Ellen: would you like to look?
    Chris: I dont know…

    Ellen: “Pitch please, youve been to space.”

    Reply
  • July 25, 2019 at 10:11 pm
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    O god i'm in love with him😂😂😂

    Reply
  • July 25, 2019 at 10:48 pm
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    I think I just developed my real adult crush on a celebrity 🤣😍

    Reply
  • July 26, 2019 at 2:06 am
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    Wait is he the one who played in Jurassic world

    Reply
  • August 4, 2019 at 8:01 am
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    Nice pants, Pratt! What a package!

    Reply
  • August 13, 2019 at 3:44 am
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    The fact that this was promoting the Lego movie 2 makes it more funnier

    Reply
  • August 16, 2019 at 7:10 am
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    this man could sell bible to atheists.

    Reply
  • August 18, 2019 at 12:39 am
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    Chris Pratt is Packin

    Reply
  • August 21, 2019 at 12:12 am
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    Hes such a good sport and down to earth I love him

    Reply
  • August 24, 2019 at 8:19 pm
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    hes so cute omggg

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  • August 26, 2019 at 7:12 pm
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    Love him

    Reply
  • August 28, 2019 at 12:34 am
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    Ohhhhh noooooo.

    Reply
  • September 9, 2019 at 2:35 am
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    I LOVE CHRIS PRATT,I AM HIS BIGGEST FAN

    Reply
  • September 9, 2019 at 2:37 am
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    Omg,I LOVE CHRTIS PRATT,I AM HIS BIGGEST FAN,I ALWAYS WANTED TO MEET YOU.😀😀

    Reply
  • September 10, 2019 at 3:37 am
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    I'm dying of laughter…no chaffing…if you use the right lubricant!

    Reply
  • September 15, 2019 at 10:28 am
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    ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    Reply
  • September 19, 2019 at 1:58 pm
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    Chris, what a salesman! A talent! He could come to my door any day!

    Reply

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