You know, as I look
back and forth, I’m not the only one up here
who’s transitioned. I used to be Bruce Jenner, and Robert De Niro used to be
Robert fucking De Niro! You call yourself
an actor, Robert. For 60 years, I had everybody
convinced I was a man. Now, that’s acting. Ken Jeong, is it true
your wife is named Tran Ho? Oh, I want to meet her! I mean, I’m waiting.
I can’t wait. I’ll also want to say hello
to Kendall’s ex. You don’t even
have to say his name. It’s just Kendall’s ex. Anyway, Blake Griffin, Blake. Los Angeles to Detroit. Let me tell you,
I can tell you a thing or two
about switching teams. Yeah, you’re a nice boy,
and although it didn’t work out between the two of you,
you’re always kind of welcome to come over to my home and know that you’re
the second-best athlete in the house. Look, there’s a lot of hate
in the world, but we can still
laugh at ourselves. And honestly,
that’s why I’m here tonight. I’ve seen it all.
I’ve even gotten threats. And I want other members
of the trans community to know that if I’m strong enough
to sit up here and be ridiculed all night
that you can handle anything. [cheers and applause] Except listening
to Adam Carolla’s podcast. Oh, my God.
That’s torture. Adam Carolla is so boring. I’ve never seen
a drier pussy in my life. And that’s coming from me! You see, Adam? Women are funny. What can I say?
I’m here because I love Alec. Yes, actually, I’ve known Alec for a long time
and I consider him family. We go back.
When I was Bruce, we were like brothers. So, well, I guess
that’s one more brother he’ll never talk to again. To get serious
about this, look. Some of you hate me
just because I’m me. Some of you hate me because of the things I may
have said in the past. Well, hey, I’m not perfect. I’m a person trying
to figure out my life, just like everyone else. All I want is
for future generations of transgendered people to know that if I can find the courage
to be who I am, then you can too. [cheers and applause] If– If you have a problem
with that, then you can suck my dick. [cheers and applause] If you can find it! Thank you!