Brewstew – Youth Baseball


Alright, now when I was a kid,
a played a lot of baseball. And for the most part, every team
that I’ve been a part of, has been terrible. But all that changed, when I played for the team,
called ‘The Trojans’ in middle school. You see, in middle school
it’s a big difference, playing baseball. You’re older now, and your coaches
don’t have to be nice to you all the time. This wasn’t tee-ball, where your coach
gives you praise no matter what you do. “Ah, you did so great, little Billy!” “Even though you were digging
in your ass crack half the time in the outfield.” “You get a juice box, way to go, champ!” No, it’s not like that. All of a sudden I’m 12 years old,
and my coach is some 44-year-old man who smokes cigarettes and calls me an asshole,
when I get thrown out stealing second. Now, this guy was just an angry man in general. I’m not sure, what his home life was like. But it probably consisted of a lot of divorce and a lot of lonely nights
eating the Hungry Man TV dinners. But he taught us baseball
in a very simple, but effective way. If you missed a grounder, you had to run a lap. If you struck out, had to run a lap. If you forgot to wear your jockstrap.. well, guess what?
Your ass is running a lap! And you don’t want to forget
your jockstrap, let me tell you! “You guys need to protect your nuts!
You hear me?!” “You guys feel more ground balls with your crotch
than you do with your goddamn glove!” Sometimes he’d even have a kid
go around with a baseball bat tap everybody in the crotch
just to make sure you were wearing a cup. Now, we had some classy individuals
on our team, let me tell you! There was our catcher Adam,
how had a big-ass retainer in his mouth. Nobody could understand what the hell he was saying. “SSSheyeverybodySSSSSwhatSSSSsSSSSgoingSSSSSonSSS!” “What did he say?” “I don’t know, I think he’s speaking
fucking Portuguese or something” You had our first baseman Mark who our coach hated, because he could never
remember any of the signals, when he was at bat. Our coach would be at third base, giving him signs. Mark would be standing there, all perplexed. “What the hell is he doing? La Macarena?!” “What do you want me to do, Coach?” “God damn it, Mark, BUNT!” “I WANT YOU TO BUNT, YOU DENSE BASTARD!” And then you had Dennis. And Dennis had it the worst,
because Dennis was the coach’s kid! No matter what Dennis did,
it was never good enough. “Jesus Christ, Dennis! You’re swinging
the bat like a goddamn golden girl!” “It’s no wonder, why your mother left us, holy hell!” But even if we were incompetent, our psychopath
coach would always find us a way to win our games. He’d pull as aside in the dugout: “All right, we’re down 3 runs. You guys
are forgetting that baseball is a mental game!” “Here, watch this!” “Hey, pitcher! The hospital just called!” “Your grandma just broke her hip,
trying to wipe her ass!” “She’s in critical condition!” “Oh no, not Mimo!” “See? Now his head is all screwed up,
he can’t even focus on pitching now!” “Oh my God, my Mimo is in trouble!” He’d have Adam talk to the batters,
while they’re trying to hit. “SSSSSheySSSSSbetterSSSSSbatterSSSSS” “SSSSSHEYSSSSSBETTERSSSSSBATTERSSSSS” “SSSSSSSCHWINGBETTERSSSSSSS” “Why the fuck does this guy
keep speaking Portuguese?” (Whooosh-pop!)
“Strike three!” But of course, the other teams we played
against, would talk some shit too. I mean, our team name
was ‘The Trojans’ for Christ’s sake! We pretty much asked for it. “Hey, Trojans! I didn’t know
condoms knew how to play baseball” “Yeah, well, at least we won’t have to worry
about STDs when we’re fucking you in the playoffs!” (Whoosh-pop!)
“Strike three!” “Oh, God damn it!” Now, thanks to our verbally abusive coach
and all of our shit talking we were actually a pretty good team! Hell, we even made it
to the city championship in our division. And the city championship is a pretty big deal. Everybody’s family comes out to watch the game. “Is that my uncle Bob?
I thought he was still in prison!” “Hey, Billy, why don’t you keep your fuckin’
mouth shut out there and mind your own business?!” All right, Play ball! Now we were pretty
confident we were gonna win this game. That is we were confident, until we’ve seen
the team that we had to play against. Because every kid on this goddamn team looked like the fuckin’ Russian
from Rocky 4 for Christ’s sake! They were huge! They’re using our own players as bats and shit. The pitcher’s throwing arm
is twice the size of his other arm. Everybody on our team
is too petrified to swing the bat. “God damn it, Mark! Lean into it
or something! Take one for the team!” (Whooosh-thud!) “Holy smokes! Did that kid
just get murdered by a baseball?!” “Nah, I know a dead kid
when I see one, he’s all right!” “All right, Mark, that’s what I’m talking about!
That’s as good as a hit!” “As good as a hit, Mark!” “If he dies, he dies.” By the third inning we’re
getting completely destroyed! People are leaving the bleachers and shit. “Hey, Billy, if I wanted to see a bunch
of guys get their asses pounded in..” “I would’ve just stayed in prison!
Thanks for nothing!” Our coach is at total denial. He just starts swearing at the umpire. “God damn it, blue! Why don’t you just
give them the trophy, you crooked asshole!” “Hey, buddy, that’s not a nice thing to say!” “I’m gonna throw you out of the game!” And just like that (Whhhoooop!) our coach got thrown out of the game. And now we’re just standing
there, with no coach. “Well, what are we gonna do now, coach ourselves?” “Hey, Dennis! Uhm… I’ve seen
a crippled kid swing the bat better!” “It’s no wonder why your mom has
a new boyfriend every other week!” By the fifth inning we’re down by, like, 15 runs. The umpire is looking at us, like: “Look, we all got shit to do today, right?
I’m just gonna call the game, they won!” “We have won, victory, comrades!” “Glory to the USSR!” So we got mercied in our championship game,
which is quite an embarrassing way to lose. Our coach is in the parking lot, like: “What happened? Did you guys
rally together and win the game?!” “Uhm, no. We lost so bad,
that we weren’t even allowed to finish the game.” “Oh, well, that’s the way it goes.” “Just remember, I’m proud of you, guys!
And you guys played your best, all right?” “Except for you, Dennis!
You played like shit!” “It’s no wonder why your mom is out there,
selling her body on the streets.” https://brewstew.com Special Thanks to:
Christopher Bowlin, Riley Osborne, Benjamin Nelson. Special thanks to: (These wonderful people) &
All the other patrons! https://www.patreon.com/brewstew https://shop.makeship.com/collections/brewstewfilms
https://www.Facebook.com/brewstewcom https://twitter.com/brewstewfilms

100 thoughts on “Brewstew – Youth Baseball

  • July 20, 2019 at 3:37 am
    Permalink

    I like = one better dad for Dennis 👅

    Reply
  • July 20, 2019 at 4:08 am
    Permalink

    Fuckin that shit right there just saved me from the must horrible thank you brewtser I'm drunk as fucker face my sister is a whore God bless you

    Reply
  • July 21, 2019 at 10:15 am
    Permalink

    Yay more vids

    Reply
  • July 22, 2019 at 10:58 pm
    Permalink

    Glory to the USSR

    Reply
  • July 24, 2019 at 3:52 pm
    Permalink

    3:30 wasted

    Reply
  • July 24, 2019 at 8:24 pm
    Permalink

    The team name is called trojans because they think you’re embarrassments

    Reply
  • July 25, 2019 at 4:25 am
    Permalink

    we had a kid who would throw his hat off while playing left field and spin in circles and cry. good times

    Reply
  • July 25, 2019 at 6:00 am
    Permalink

    Hey what was the russians actual team name? Does anyone know?

    Reply
  • July 27, 2019 at 1:09 am
    Permalink

    Why the fuck is this guy speaking Portuguese killed me 😂

    Reply
  • July 27, 2019 at 1:11 am
    Permalink

    Poor denis

    Reply
  • July 27, 2019 at 3:01 am
    Permalink

    I can tell you from experience even if you were wearing a cup it still hurt like hell

    Reply
  • July 27, 2019 at 7:48 pm
    Permalink

    No all coaches try to be like that it’s to instill a fear of them so you always listen to them I played football and my parents were friends with the coaches and they acted completely different away from the field

    Reply
  • July 27, 2019 at 7:53 pm
    Permalink

    "Theres my uncle I thought he was in prison!"
    "Hey Billy how bout you shut the fuck up and mind ur business!"

    Reply
  • July 28, 2019 at 1:22 am
    Permalink

    Little Rock Trojans….

    You are from Arkansas

    Reply
  • July 28, 2019 at 1:55 am
    Permalink

    Its no wonder why your moms selling her body out there on the street lol

    Reply
  • July 28, 2019 at 3:21 am
    Permalink

    Video title: baseball
    Me: (flashbacks to old baseball video)

    Reply
  • July 28, 2019 at 7:47 am
    Permalink

    1:05
    If you play baseball you know this is called “Cup check”

    Reply
  • July 28, 2019 at 9:17 am
    Permalink

    I’m so happy I found this channel….. fucking funny cunts

    Reply
  • July 28, 2019 at 3:59 pm
    Permalink

    My name is Denis Bich

    Reply
  • July 28, 2019 at 10:49 pm
    Permalink

    I don’t know how you make these interesting and it’s so good

    Reply
  • July 29, 2019 at 1:06 pm
    Permalink

    I want you to bunt you dense bastard

    Reply
  • July 29, 2019 at 5:57 pm
    Permalink

    yor funny as hell

    Reply
  • July 29, 2019 at 7:03 pm
    Permalink

    Mema

    Reply
  • July 29, 2019 at 7:05 pm
    Permalink

    SYUZ NERISHIMI

    Reply
  • July 29, 2019 at 9:01 pm
    Permalink

    “At least we don’t have to worry about stds when we’re fucking you in the playoffs”🤣🤣🤣

    Reply
  • July 30, 2019 at 3:25 am
    Permalink

    I was actually in youth baseball

    It sucked.i was getting bit by mosquitoes in the Oklahoma summer heat.

    Reply
  • July 30, 2019 at 5:01 am
    Permalink

    “Bunt, I want you to bunt you deaf bastard!”

    Reply
  • July 30, 2019 at 11:24 am
    Permalink

    What the fuck is up with that beeping sound

    Reply
  • July 30, 2019 at 5:26 pm
    Permalink

    Did you play on the southeastern Trojans?

    Reply
  • July 30, 2019 at 6:12 pm
    Permalink

    I was my teams catcher and I got thrown out of the came from talking and saying hey your shoes untied you look down I was got thrown out but then when I am watching I say hey look at me I’m a monkey in a tree Booga Booga Booga because I’m only 10😓😂😂🤣🤣

    Reply
  • August 1, 2019 at 4:48 pm
    Permalink

    “Why’s this kid speaking Portuguese?”

    Reply
  • August 2, 2019 at 5:22 pm
    Permalink

    Petition to get brewstew to make a diss track on the all Storytime Animators he can get his stick figure hands on.

    Reply
  • August 3, 2019 at 8:02 am
    Permalink

    If you didn’t like this you have no humor

    Reply
  • August 3, 2019 at 8:58 pm
    Permalink

    Now that I've learned more Japanese, your videos are much easier to understand. I love the way you subtitle everything

    Reply
  • August 3, 2019 at 11:15 pm
    Permalink

    Why is the youth team named after a condom brand?

    Reply
  • August 5, 2019 at 1:50 am
    Permalink

    “Lean into it or something take one for the team!”

    Reply
  • August 5, 2019 at 9:46 am
    Permalink

    What’s he doing the fuckin Macarena

    Reply
  • August 5, 2019 at 9:38 pm
    Permalink

    Where the Trojans in Carrollton?

    Reply
  • August 6, 2019 at 8:00 pm
    Permalink

    Even in the fucking 3rd grade I had. A psychopath coach

    Reply
  • August 7, 2019 at 1:02 am
    Permalink

    Who's in middle school? I know I am

    Reply
  • August 7, 2019 at 2:24 am
    Permalink

    1:20 that blonde guy XD

    Reply
  • August 7, 2019 at 6:36 am
    Permalink

    "The hell is he doing the macarena"

    Reply
  • August 8, 2019 at 4:06 am
    Permalink

    My middle school youth football team was called the Trojans and we went to state and loss to the NFL sponser team. I swear you lived my life

    And we had the same Trojan jokes

    Reply
  • August 8, 2019 at 5:17 am
    Permalink

    Trojan Man… explore with confidence

    Reply
  • August 8, 2019 at 8:18 pm
    Permalink

    1:18

    Reply
  • August 12, 2019 at 8:58 pm
    Permalink

    “ if he dies he dies.”
    This got me cracking up 😂

    Reply
  • August 13, 2019 at 11:45 pm
    Permalink

    Alright billy keep your mouth shout!

    Okay play ball

    Reply
  • August 14, 2019 at 12:22 am
    Permalink

    Here before 1mil veiws

    Reply
  • August 14, 2019 at 12:22 am
    Permalink

    Here before 1 mil subsribers

    Reply
  • August 14, 2019 at 7:02 pm
    Permalink

    Oh no not MEMAL

    Reply
  • August 14, 2019 at 9:57 pm
    Permalink

    I had one of those giant retailers

    Reply
  • August 15, 2019 at 1:44 am
    Permalink

    I feel like all your videos are considered death

    Reply
  • August 15, 2019 at 5:16 pm
    Permalink

    Am i the only one who feels bad for Dennis? That poor, tormented child…

    Nice video though.

    Reply
  • August 15, 2019 at 11:43 pm
    Permalink

    😆 memorys can relate 😆

    Reply
  • August 16, 2019 at 3:52 am
    Permalink

    He always starts with a alright 😂

    Reply
  • August 17, 2019 at 12:07 am
    Permalink

    I love how the signs the coach gave we’re the don’t suck, charge the mound, and indicator

    Reply
  • August 17, 2019 at 7:04 am
    Permalink

    That one second from 5:00

    Reply
  • August 18, 2019 at 3:39 am
    Permalink

    Trojan only ones who play with balls

    Reply
  • August 19, 2019 at 3:37 am
    Permalink

    It’s also hard if ur BLIND AS SHIT

    Reply
  • August 20, 2019 at 9:22 am
    Permalink

    600 more views to 1 mil

    Reply
  • August 21, 2019 at 1:40 am
    Permalink

    How does he not have 1 million yet????

    Reply
  • August 21, 2019 at 6:45 pm
    Permalink

    Wow I call my grandma me-ma, ive got an uncle bob, and when i was a kid i also played baseball for a while

    Reply
  • August 23, 2019 at 1:57 am
    Permalink

    2:51 😂😂😂

    Reply
  • August 23, 2019 at 3:22 am
    Permalink

    I have pto today

    Reply
  • August 24, 2019 at 3:22 am
    Permalink

    B

    Reply
  • August 24, 2019 at 9:30 am
    Permalink

    I can relate. Former all American here. Our couch checked for cups the same way. Lol

    Reply
  • August 24, 2019 at 6:44 pm
    Permalink

    I’ve never laughed so hard at when he said they looked like the Russian from rocky 4 😭

    Reply
  • August 26, 2019 at 2:13 am
    Permalink

    Get him to 1 million

    Reply
  • August 27, 2019 at 2:27 am
    Permalink

    If it was the west Trojans, I'll go insane.

    Reply
  • August 27, 2019 at 8:56 pm
    Permalink

    I speak Portuguese he said "I'm a stupid idiot"

    Reply
  • August 30, 2019 at 12:16 am
    Permalink

    Denis?

    Reply
  • August 30, 2019 at 5:38 am
    Permalink

    isn't trojan a condom company

    Reply
  • August 30, 2019 at 3:08 pm
    Permalink

    what dick head actually "disliked" this ~ LOFL

    Reply
  • August 30, 2019 at 10:20 pm
    Permalink

    This sounds familiar

    Reply
  • August 31, 2019 at 8:25 am
    Permalink

    LET Let me do a voice over I volunteer

    Reply
  • August 31, 2019 at 4:38 pm
    Permalink

    I know that school

    Reply
  • August 31, 2019 at 4:39 pm
    Permalink

    The Teague Trojans I don’t know if the school is over we’re u were it’s in Houston were I live

    Reply
  • August 31, 2019 at 7:12 pm
    Permalink

    😂😂😂

    Reply
  • August 31, 2019 at 7:13 pm
    Permalink

    I would have stayed in prison if I wanted to see some guys get their ass pounded in ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭😭

    Reply
  • September 1, 2019 at 3:32 am
    Permalink

    Trojans is my teams name and we one of the best teams in the state

    Reply
  • September 1, 2019 at 8:18 pm
    Permalink

    My pitcher threw a ball. The batter hit the ball and the pitcher got hit and knocked out.

    Reply
  • September 4, 2019 at 10:27 am
    Permalink

    did anyone when it showed the coaches signs that there was one that said "charge the mound".

    Reply
  • September 5, 2019 at 12:05 am
    Permalink

    Ppop

    Reply
  • September 6, 2019 at 3:04 am
    Permalink

    Imma try out for baseball soon in hs 😭😭

    Reply
  • September 6, 2019 at 10:27 pm
    Permalink

    By our savghy

    Reply
  • September 8, 2019 at 7:56 pm
    Permalink

    Other team: hey Trojions didn’t know condoms knew how to play baseball baseball team

    Reply
  • September 11, 2019 at 1:03 am
    Permalink

    Hey batter batter,Hey batter batter,Swing batter
    WhY ThE FuCk DoEs ThIs GuY kEeP SpEaKiNg PortEgUeSe?

    Reply
  • September 11, 2019 at 3:12 am
    Permalink

    I know the book is red in French la livre est rouge

    Reply
  • September 11, 2019 at 4:41 am
    Permalink

    Weed

    Reply
  • September 11, 2019 at 11:31 pm
    Permalink

    1:07 LOL 😂😂😂😂 That’s funny

    Reply
  • September 12, 2019 at 12:37 am
    Permalink

    4:36 😯 dude that’s just messed up

    Reply
  • September 12, 2019 at 10:21 pm
    Permalink

    2:31 Hey Trojans, I didn’t know condoms knew how to play baseball!!

    Me: Yeah well at least we won’t have to worry about STD’s when we’re fucking you in the playoffs

    Reply
  • September 12, 2019 at 10:58 pm
    Permalink

    “We have won, victory comrades, glory to the USSR.” I died 😂

    Reply
  • September 14, 2019 at 5:23 pm
    Permalink

    🤣🤣

    Reply
  • September 16, 2019 at 6:49 pm
    Permalink

    If they all looked like the Russian from rocky four then you all should’ve been pretty confident, Why?

    Because capitalism always wins

    Reply
  • September 17, 2019 at 3:37 am
    Permalink

    The std joke got me

    Reply
  • September 18, 2019 at 3:03 am
    Permalink

    Trepoloski

    Reply
  • September 18, 2019 at 5:39 pm
    Permalink

    RIP Mark
    19??-201???????

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *